The Recessionista's guide to Valentine's Day and dating.

My last post was aimed mostly at the attached, I have abandoned a major demographic and let down my readers, for that I am very sorry. I hope this will help everyone that hasn't traded loneliness for shared solitude.  I like to take on taboo topics and the unsaid truths of our generation, so I thought I would do a guide to dating for the recession conscious.

Our country is going through a really tough time and it's time for people to really start stepping up and help each other out. First of all consider the fact that dating is a very long and expensive process, especially for guys. I know it takes a long time to get to know someone, and I'm not trying to ask anyone to do anything they are uncomfortable with, or change there standards in anyway, but we live in dire times. Basically, what I'm saying is you girls need to step up and start putting out on dates sooner than you would in a normal economy. I mean you don't want your relationship with a possibly great guy to be ruined by him stressing out over a tedious and expensive social ritual. This will also benefit you greatly because the quicker the relationship progresses the sooner you can move in together and get married (and save tons on money on expenses that way.)

This is a two way street though guys, my advice to you if you find one of these economically savvy ladies is to hang on, because clearly she has got a great head on her shoulders and cares about your financial and emotional well being. If you meet a girl who is willing to "accelerate the relationship and stimulate your economy" and she also picks up the tab, I would hate to quote Beyonce, but you better put a ring on it.

As for the Valentine's day portion of my advice for the single and newly dating: Guys, if you like a girl ask her out for Valentine's Day. There's no way to really avoid this part of it, you have to be willing to go all out and pay for it all. Now ladies, this is where you need to pick up the gauntlet. When a guy asks you out to a fancy Valentine's date you need to respond with: "How about pizza, netflix and sex?" Romantic, thoughtful, thrifty and hot. You will not be disappointed! That's how you separate yourself as a keeper in our post apocalyptic world.

Maybe sinking further into recession is what we need. Maybe when the money runs out so will the jobs, spray tan and hair gel, then girls will actually have to date guys with substance who like them as people, and not just objects that they don't mind having around so much. What would a world without gold diggers and shallow people be like? I don't know, but I know who could tell us, Kanye.