#MPMF or Why you're an indie fuck.

In an effort to keep you informed on local events and as to why you are an insufferable douche let me tell you about the Mid Point Music Fest. First let’s start with the good news, you didn’t get ripped off, twenty nine dollars is not a bad price to pay for three days of music that will never be commercially available.  The bad news is you spent three days in downtown Cincinnati incurring numerous costs listening to bad music you could have listened to on Misplace for free. Just to be brief and to the point, you spent three days at indie Myspace.

In order to understand why this makes you uncool you need to realize why indie music is uncool.  The logic seems to be, “Oh no one else has discovered how great and relevant this band’s music is, they must be cool and I must be cool for listening to them.” No. That is the exact opposite of how things work. The reason your band isn’t popular is because they are contrived and unsuccessful. You are following the same misguided logic as goth kids. Being different does not make you cool, being the same makes you cool.  Being the same also makes you lots of money. All the indie cred in the world is not going to help these bands when they are starving to death in an alley or working their real job at starbucks or kinkos.

If you legitimately enjoy the music that’s fine, but if at least one point (hopefully more) during the MPMF you find yourself thinking “this band is terrible,” you are probably an indie music scene fuck. Did I go? No, do I feel bad reviewing an event that I didn’t go to? Not in the least, and here’s why, 1. The event was held in downtown Cincinnati, the fact that it wasn’t held in a better venue speaks for itself. Cincinnati is in such a state of decay that it would host a convention for transvestite meth addicted pedophiles. 2. None of these bands will ever get signed, if they do I will buy you the CD and the tickets for us to see them at river bend. These are the bands that will reunite on holidays when you are in your 50s and you will have to ask your wife to see if you can drive to Columbus to see them. They too will be old and taking time off from real jobs to reminisce back to the time where they were mildly artistically successful. 3. The primary sponsors for this event were radio stations, who the fuck listens to the radio?